And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
