I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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