She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
only if we run a train.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't tell me you're on acid again