So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
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i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.