i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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