the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it