And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize