We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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