i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
its liver damage thursday
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
