We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
