I must be too annoying 4 u.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
