found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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