I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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