To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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