How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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