At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
