when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Duck Duck Cougar?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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