no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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