There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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