I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I will be naked everywhere
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
