i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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