i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
apparently the secret to your success is patron
In America we eat man semen.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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