who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize