No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
