Your mouth is God's brothel.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize