if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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