I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
