your room smells of hookers.
And success
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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