no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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