In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize