I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
