the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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