so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Your penis caused this!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
