I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
