thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize