so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
