it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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