my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Did you just see the Batmobile???
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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