Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.