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i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
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