doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.