Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

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  (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf
  Replies (412) Good night (104745) Bad night (9825)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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  (857): Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark. http://tfl.nu/cekc
  Replies (62) Good night (2183) Bad night (1073)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
  Replies (7) Good night (4181) Bad night (593)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

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  (541): I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with http://tfl.nu/nhts
  Replies (41) Good night (2061) Bad night (4820)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.

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  (902): Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know. http://tfl.nu/6wh4
  Replies (10) Good night (3244) Bad night (1086)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?

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  (516): what's the name of that soccar player i bit again? http://tfl.nu/zrsr
  Replies (8) Good night (2378) Bad night (1029)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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  (402): What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something? http://tfl.nu/b3em
  Replies (16) Good night (2379) Bad night (709)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

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  (304): I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/ox4w
  Replies (3) Good night (2325) Bad night (590)
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  (714): View more from California

  you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"

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  (714): you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle" http://tfl.nu/ec60
  Replies (4) Good night (1928) Bad night (560)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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  (631): I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone" http://tfl.nu/bfbc
  Replies (5) Good night (2613) Bad night (527)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.

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  (303): Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor. http://tfl.nu/urne
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Never mind I found pizza just bring sex

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  (216): I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex (216): Never mind I found pizza just bring sex http://tfl.nu/1kkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1788) Bad night (531)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.

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  (306): no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag. http://tfl.nu/bx17
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.

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  (630): His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up. http://tfl.nu/1y0y
  Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (355)

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