Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
