I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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