I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
