i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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