Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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