Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
