Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
