Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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