respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
