im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
