He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
