Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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