I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize