we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will be naked everywhere
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
