so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
