Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
