I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
