Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need to sanitize my soul.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
