is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
