I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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