probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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