I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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