we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
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What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?