I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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