Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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  (973): Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie. http://tfl.nu/rlm3
  Replies (20) Good night (2541) Bad night (714)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.

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  (832): I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets. http://tfl.nu/n0nj
  Replies (8) Good night (4781) Bad night (859)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  and who said we didn't have goals?

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  (219): my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus (317): and who said we didn't have goals? http://tfl.nu/piod
  Replies (12) Good night (4053) Bad night (966)
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  (310): View more from California

  my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.

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  (310): my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings. http://tfl.nu/sarg
  Replies (28) Good night (1320) Bad night (7053)
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  (805): View more from California

  a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot

  (818): View more from California

  god is laughing at you again

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  (805): a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot (818): god is laughing at you again http://tfl.nu/4fg3
  Replies (20) Good night (5150) Bad night (1671)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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  (317): The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad http://tfl.nu/cny5
  Replies (20) Good night (3653) Bad night (1142)
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  (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

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  (559): Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10 http://tfl.nu/1xln
  Replies (13) Good night (7040) Bad night (987)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
  Replies (17) Good night (1206) Bad night (2832)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.

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  (402): Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others. http://tfl.nu/fg60
  Replies (5) Good night (1796) Bad night (601)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex

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  (843): i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex http://tfl.nu/fymj
  Replies (8) Good night (2026) Bad night (1127)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

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  (402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf
  Replies (6) Good night (2603) Bad night (532)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

  (813): View more from Florida

  Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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  (813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn
  Replies (1) Good night (897) Bad night (447)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower

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  (585): I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower http://tfl.nu/ravu
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (316)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So how was the sex with me last night?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No worse than usual.

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  (202): So how was the sex with me last night? (703): No worse than usual. http://tfl.nu/1snn
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (1240)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right

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  (514): If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right http://tfl.nu/t6fg
  Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (178)

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