he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship