Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  with a sacreligious after taste.

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  (847): It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut. (1-847): with a sacreligious after taste. http://tfl.nu/wzar
  Replies (7) Good night (2138) Bad night (636)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

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  (321): I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment. http://tfl.nu/8o3c
  Replies (18) Good night (3173) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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  (847): She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night. http://tfl.nu/sdtr
  Replies (17) Good night (5967) Bad night (1164)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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  (540): he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride http://tfl.nu/4fyt
  Replies (34) Good night (20525) Bad night (1663)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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  (401): well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can http://tfl.nu/8xnn
  Replies (18) Good night (2940) Bad night (1887)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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  (604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8
  Replies (16) Good night (4810) Bad night (1041)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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  (908): it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend http://tfl.nu/ha54
  Replies (6) Good night (2954) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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  (405): I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven. http://tfl.nu/4vzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2888) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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  (763): Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months http://tfl.nu/4w1o
  Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.

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  (678): ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend. http://tfl.nu/yswq
  Replies (2) Good night (1913) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?

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  (850): if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair? http://tfl.nu/1ccg
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid

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  (419): i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid http://tfl.nu/fwn3
  Replies (10) Good night (1679) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

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  (913): My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits http://tfl.nu/sxpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1677) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.

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  (775): All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch. http://tfl.nu/tcmn
  Replies (5) Good night (816) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?

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  (440): Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth? http://tfl.nu/sdk1
  Replies (2) Good night (123) Bad night (386)

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