You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
