Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
