Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There r osticjed everywhere
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
