I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
