Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
