And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
