Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
