I've blown a few things in my day
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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