I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
